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Ask Angela
“My manager says I’m too direct – but I just want to get stuff done!”
Dear Angela,
I’ve just had my end-of-year review, and my manager said I need to work on how I ‘come across’. Apparently, people find me blunt. But I’m just being honest! I like to be efficient, make decisions, and keep things moving. I don’t see the point in sugar-coating things. Why is that such a problem?
– Direct, Not Difficult
Dear Direct,
Thanks for writing in – and you’re definitely not alone in feeling this way.
What you’re describing sounds like someone with a strong dose of Fiery Red energy: focused, action-oriented, and no-nonsense. These are brilliant qualities for driving results, cutting through waffle, and keeping things on track. But (and there’s always a but!) not everyone speaks that language.
Some of your colleagues might lead with Earth Green – people who value harmony, relationships, and time to process. Or perhaps they’re more Cool Blue, and prefer a thoughtful, detail-rich approach before acting. To them, your clarity might land as abrupt, even if that’s the last thing you intend.
Here’s the good news: you don’t need to change who you are. You just need to dial up your awareness and flex your style.
Try this:
Check your tone, not your intent. You can still be clear and decisive – just soften the edges. A simple “How does that land with you?” can invite others in.
Give people a moment. Especially in meetings, your pace might be a sprint while others are warming up. A pause is not a weakness.
Recognise what others value. Relationship-driven colleagues may need context or reassurance before taking action. Giving them that upfront buys speed later.
It’s not about walking on eggshells – it’s about being as effective with people as you are with tasks.
You’ve already shown you care by asking the question. That’s a strong start.
Warm regards,
Angela