Workplace conflict: You need more of it
- Difficult Conversations
- Feedback
- Influencing
- Insights
- Listening
It’s Friday—deadline day. Your team has been working on this project for weeks. It was a big win for your company, and all eyes are on you to get it over the line.
It’s been tough, with more than a few late nights, early mornings, and email exchanges in the small hours.
You’re relieved that it’s all come together so well. Most of the work has been done, and now it’s just a case of signing off some outstanding documents. You head into the office, happy that you’re going to submit on time this afternoon.
An evening out with the team and a restful weekend look ever so inviting.
*ping* A text at 08:52 never bodes well. You pull your phone out of your pocket, and your heart sinks. Mike’s gone sick.
Mike is one of your senior team members, and he holds a lot of responsibility. He’s your number two and is responsible for quality-checking most of your junior colleagues’ work. You must do all the quality checks this close to the deadline. So, your only option is to ask someone to step up.
Sally has the skills to do the checks but is also pretty militant. Honestly, you could do away with all the clocks in the office and use her to mark when the official working day starts and ends. She’s always sat at her desk at precisely 9, and nothing short of welding the doors shut would stop her from leaving at 5.
You know that asking her to step up will cause a conflict. You’ve had difficult conversations, and she argues that she won’t if she’s not paid to do it. When you’ve asked her to step up in the past, it’s never been this urgent or mission-critical.
However, if you’re going to get this project over the line, you need her to step up. But, maybe this crisis is just what’s required to get the best out of her now and in the future…
Why does workplace conflict happen?
Workplace conflict is inevitable. No matter what you do to try and prevent it, there will be occasions when people don’t see eye to eye.
It doesn’t discriminate on role, rank, or position. Colleagues in similar roles can and do argue just as much as managers and their team members. The subjects of their disagreements may differ, but they’ll disagree all the same.
Workplace conflicts happen when two or more people mismatch their expectations. This is more complex than a straightforward disagreement over the direction of a project or the number of meetings. Most significant and potentially game-changing conflicts are rooted in how your colleagues see the world and communicate with one another on a more fundamental level.
Take personal ethics, for example. Sometimes, you might have to ask a colleague to do something that conflicts with their social or political values. Say your team has been given a project for a charity that advocates strongly for one side of a hot-button political issue. One of your team members holds a diametrically opposing view. This may or may not be something you were aware of, but it will inevitably be a source of significant conflict.
If the colleague puts their point across civilly and doesn’t express extremist views, this situation can put you in a tricky position. You can’t hide behind HR policies or procedures, so face it head-on.
Although you probably won’t feel like it when you’re knee-deep in that difficult conversation, conflict in a team is often a good thing.
Conflict in the workplace challenges attitudes and drives change…
There’s nothing better than a peaceful, cohesive workplace where heated words are never exchanged.
This is conventional wisdom. However, it couldn’t be further from the truth. If you and your team never disagree, you should be worried.
Either your people aren’t communicating openly, or a volcano of dissatisfaction and frustration is simmering under the surface, just waiting to explode. Or your colleagues simply don’t care.
In the case of the former, conflict will emerge eventually. It might take months or even years, but there will be a big argument one day. If it happens unexpectedly, you won’t be able to manage or contain it. This could have dire consequences. People get hurt when big rows erupt uncontrollably, and uncomfortable disciplinary processes are just around the corner.
The latter is even more dangerous. Indifference kills innovation, performance, and quality. After all, if you don’t care about something, you’re not going to give it your best. This may result in a perpetually blissful working environment, but the chances are it’ll be devoid of growth and learning.
Conflict drives change. When your colleagues are challenged by one another as much as by their work, you have a fertile environment where compromise is cultivated, and communication is king. Colleagues that feel safe and confident to share their views and disagree well will, by definition, be exposed to new ideas and ways of working. They won’t always agree, but this is a good thing. Provided everyone understands the ground rules, your team will experience immeasurable benefits from the play of lively minds.
…but unchecked workplace conflict can shatter a team
While some conflict in your workplace is essential for growth and development, you can have too much of a good thing.
If left unchecked, workplace conflict can shatter an otherwise cohesive and performing team. Generally, conflict over ideas is something to be okay with. However, as a leader, you should be wary if things get personal.
Interpersonal disputes can damage productivity and leave colleagues feeling demotivated and anxious. While occasionally, there is a need to chat with a colleague about how their attitude or way of doing things adversely affects the team, and these conversations must always occur in a controlled environment. Unmoderated personal disputes are a recipe for disaster and can turn your office into the Somme overnight.
These conflicts don’t happen in isolation, either. They’re fuelled by gossip and office politics, neither conducive to an open, efficient team. Both are insidious and have a nasty habit of sucking people in, forcing otherwise happy and productive colleagues to pick sides until everyone squabbles and bickers like teenagers.
Some people just don’t like each other, and that’s part and parcel of working life. You can’t expect everyone to get along, and so long as productivity and performance aren’t affected, it’s not too much to worry about. However, you can never underestimate the damage a few stray words can do. When you’re in charge, it’s your job to step in before things get out of hand without being an overbearing schoolmaster. This is a tricky path to tread, but it can be done.
Trust your instincts. Or, if you want to be safe, invest in communication training…
Healthy, moderated workplace conflict boosts performance and attracts talent.
A team that conflicts well is a team that is operating at peak efficiency.
But it would help if you kept things healthy and ego-free. Essentially, you want to act as an umpire who keeps the best interests of your organisation in mind. When two personalities meet in disagreement, potentially, one party isn’t going to get their way. If this happens, it’s your job to rally your team and keep things moving forwards.
Conflict promotes open-mindedness and allows people to think creatively. When they feel safe and trust one another, they’ll freely voice their opinions and get to the root cause of issues sooner. As a result, your team won’t keep silent through fear of speaking out. This will lead to healthier relationships between colleagues and groups because they’ll be able to release pent-up frustrations in a controlled and respectful manner.
This environment not only boosts results in and of itself but also attracts the very best people. Good people don’t just want to punch the clock and claim their salary. They want to influence the big picture, step up, take responsibility, and get things done. These individuals must improve on teams with a ‘know your place’ attitude towards communication. They need to feel heard and have an outlet in their peers to test their ideas actively. If your team develops a reputation for welcoming healthy conflict, you’ll become a magnet for these star players.
Are you ready for more healthy conflict?
Workplace conflict is going to happen. There’s no avoiding it. But it’s up to you to ensure that it’s healthy and productive when it happens in your team.
Understanding how to make conflict safe and productive is a skill. Like any other skill, it can be practiced and improved. However, conflict is a loaded word with a negative reputation it doesn’t deserve. Therefore, few courses will give you the tools and techniques you need to leverage division to your advantage.
Our Difficult Conversations workshops equip you with the skills and knowledge to deliver complex messages and foster productive conflict in your team. They’re not for the faint of heart. The information we’ll give you is robust and can drive positive change within your team. However, if you try to leverage conflict in your group without fully committing to the principles you’ll learn at the workshop, it won’t end well.
That’s why if you’re interested in attending a Difficult Conversations workshop, we’ll need to have a conversation of our own first. We’ll talk about your situation and any problems you’re experiencing, and you’ll have plenty of opportunities to ask us about the course. Then if we both believe a Difficult Conversations workshop suits you, we’ll book you onto a course.
So if you’re struggling with starting tricky conversations or want to challenge your organization’s “nice” reputation, get in touch and let’s chat.