Ask Angela
- Difficult Conversations
- Feedback
- Influencing
- Insights
- Listening
Workplace dilemmas, tackled with colour and clarity.
Introducing a new feature from The Squeeze, where Angela draws on her wealth of experience to offer practical, no-nonsense advice through the lens of Insights Discovery.
Dear Angela,
I love helping people, both at work and at home, but as the year goes on, it’s starting to catch up with me. I say yes to extra projects, cover for colleagues, help organise the office party, and somehow still end up doing most of the family planning too.
I know I’m tired, but saying no makes me feel like I’m letting people down. How do I set boundaries without feeling selfish?
– Always Saying Yes
Dear Always Saying Yes,
I can hear how much you care, and that’s something to be proud of. But even the most generous people need fuel in the tank to keep giving.
What you describe sounds like someone with a lot of Earth Green energy: thoughtful, dependable, and tuned in to other people’s needs. The world needs more of that, especially at this time of year. But without clear boundaries, that same strength can turn into quiet exhaustion.
Boundaries are not barriers. They’re gentle edges that help you stay steady, kind and effective.
Try this:
- Pause before you agree. It’s fine to say, “Let me check and come back to you.” That small pause can save a lot of stress later.
- Be kindly clear. “I’d love to help, but I don’t have the capacity this week.” You’re not rejecting the person, just managing your energy.
- Notice your pattern. If you’re saying yes out of guilt or habit, that’s a sign to pause. Genuine yeses feel lighter.
- Model balance. When you show that rest matters, others take permission to do the same.
Boundaries protect your energy so you can keep giving it to the people and things that matter most. That’s not selfish. It’s sustainable.
Warm regards,
Angela